About this author: She is an inspirational and creative leader with expertise in global diversity, leadership and organizational development. Dedicated to the community and planetary healing, Lakiba is a woman of action, serving in numerous capacities in the community. She has performed at venues and events including the Stanford Jazz Festival, San Francisco Jazz Festival, San Francisco?s Carnaval, Afribbean, Mountain View; UC Berkeley?s Zellerbach Auditorium, Oakland Coliseum and for Rosa Parks and Nelson Mandela. She is a pen and ink artist and writer, currently working on a book of poetry. Contact this author at: lakiba(at)sbcglobal.net

Done

by Lakiba Pittman
May 2006

BEFORE..

Before I knew my ancestors were slaves,
I loved my life,
my room, my home,
my street, my community,
my city, my state,
my country, my world?

Before evil tongues spoke the word "nigger"
with demon eyes looking at me,
I loved to play at recess with my rainbow-colored playmates and
sometimes we'd fall out on the grass and look up at the sky,
and just laugh and imagine and dream
and feel joy, and peace and so much love.

Before..
In the mornings when we'd look up at the flag
with hand over heart and say the pledge of allegiance,
I didn't really know what it was all about,
But it seemed normal, and it felt good,
to be a part of something that everyone I cared for was a part of, and so

Before.. early on, I learned to love;
That is,
Before anything else,
I was love,
So it seemed so easy then to
Love first.

Before I learned politics or history,
or viewpoints, or racism, or prejudice,
or about ignorance or people with bad intentions,
I was a lover of all life and all people.

Before I knew that we couldn't ride in the front of the bus
or drink from any water fountain or vote in any election,
or go to any school, or get hired for any job,
or about poverty, police brutality, drugs,
black-on black or hate crimes,
I loved to sing America the Beautiful..

My voice.. ringing out the loudest.. the most melodious,
the most soulful, the most true, because
I was in love with myself, my class, my teacher, my school,
my friends, my family, my community,
my city, my state, my country, my world.

Before I grew up and began to know
my great-grandmothers pain, I felt joy even within
the held-back anger in her voice.
Behind closed doors she, African/Pawnee, taught us
how to work magic and how to treasure our power and protect our gifts,
and too,
my grandmother scratched some of that pain in my head and braided
some of that wisdom and strength into my dreams.
So when my mother's heart spoke to me,
trying to explain why some people called me names,
I already understood part of it
even though I couldn't articulate it at the time

Before? what strengthened me were the values, the love and pride along with
the faith, courage, wisdom, humor, beauty, and "all that"
our mothers, fathers and ancestors have been and are?

Before and even now
they're still living in me and in you..
in our cells, in our breath, in our hearts, in our souls,
in our voices, in our smiles, in our tears,
in our hair, in our noses, in our hands, in our memories,
and too,
they're in the sky, in the stars, in the wind, in the fire,
in the sea, in the grass, in the trees, in this land,
in the echoes and in the whispers,
hiding behind the pictures in our bibles, in old boxes and photograph albums,
in old recipes and knick-knacks, and quilts
in the dust and in the corners?

Never far away?

And so it's not so strange
that Before and Now
I love knowing who I am and where I come from
Where I've been and where I?m going
Because my people and I have been a part of it all

A descendant of the strongest of the strong
A survivor of the middle passage and slavery
A survivor of the attempts to beat down the spirit,
A survivor of the attempts to create an amnesiac race
The true hate crime - Denying who we are
Attempting to make us feel insignificant.. undesired.. ugly..
implying incompetence..


Untruths require knowledge, wisdom and overstanding

just one sign..
a Mozambique woman forced to live in a tree for days
with rising life-threatening floodwaters..
had a baby in the tree
brought forth life for all to see
There's really NO-thing we cannot be
or do..
'cause - no one owns the oceans
or the earth or the sky or the trees or our souls

Besides

Before,
My great-grandmother told me
We, A Mighty People!
So, if you should ever see me saluting the flag,
I guess it?s because I remember a time
Before,
when I thought it was about me and you and
Our liberty, Our freedom, Our pride,
Our presence, Our tears, Our light, Our song
Our hearts

Remembering how it felt before I knew all that I know today,
when I was just God's child on God's earth
Free to be me in all my power and glory

Before..


- Lakiba 1997/2002
1st Publication, Stanford University Black Arts Quarterly, Summer/Fall, 2003